Entry #22
I'm redoing my NG life story because the previous version was ass.
Just so we're straight on this, I'm not a Tailsfag anymore. In fact, I don't even mind if you call me out on it because I honestly couldn't give less of a shit. I keep this username to remind myself of what I was like when I was younger and due to the fact that it's what everyone back at the C&C section have come to know me as. Yeah, call me a sentimentalist, you're still a faggot. Now that that's out of the way, let's get on with the story.
When I was around maybe 8 or 9, my cousin introduced me to Newgrounds by showing me some video game parodies, mostly sprite movies. At the time, I thought this was the shit, because NG really had it all: immature jokes, mature jokes, violence, sexual references that I didn't get, and so much other mind numbing shit that I don' care to remember. Seriously, Mario pilot a jet and shooting at Sonic who retaliates by flipping him off? Brilliant. Anyways, that's how my NG life started, I remember how I'd spend time at a friend's house and just watch flash movies, mostly parodies like Harry Potter/DBZ, Pokemon, Powerpuff Girls, DBZ, and 9/11. Although there were some original materials that I also enjoyed like Pico's School and Eskimo Bob - yeah, remember that shit? Good times.
Side note: fucking bugs flying on my arms and legs... fucking itching... fucking summer... fucking heat... fucking sticky ballsack... fucking EVERYTHING.
Anyways, I continued to frequent the site as a visitor until I finally decided to show my support for NG (happy now, pox?) by creating my own account under the alias you see before you. Back then I was a tremendous Tailsfag because I thought he was the most kawaii thing evar and I was a borderline furry as well. Also, I was extremely easy to troll - merely insulting a sonic character, much less myself, would result in massive butthurt from yours truly. That was all just a phase though... it eventually passed, thank heavens.
This part deserves its own paragraph because fagit. Later that year, I stumbled upon the NGPD which was still in the midst of its inception. I hopped on aboard, seeing as I had the credentials, and became a regular in that crew. As the years passed, I grew a pair and chilled the fuck out, and now I fuck the internet daily. Yes, I do enjoy my AIDS thankyouverymuch. I pretty much grew up on Newgrounds, I wouldn't be the person I am today without this cock-infested pocket of the internet.
........
You're still here? Piss off you wanker.
Here, have a gay fuel vending machine that I found on counterstrike.
P.S. Go fuck yourself
Love,
Tails
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6/30/11
If only Tails was a pony.
Ask and ye shall receive:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr _ll27vuy9Nn1qf7gzvo1_500.jpg
6/24/11
I may sound like a total idiot, but do you actually have aids?
Not at all, my boy. Otherwise I'd probably be out having a life.
6/12/11
yEAH IT wAS ACTUALLY ACTIVE TODAy (for realz)!! It started sending me pms asking me to show it MAH WEINER, I said no at first.....but it was very persuasive :'C
I don't remember sending that PM...
OH SHI-
6/12/11
Oh my gawd, the Ngpd has become alive and created an account! http://ngpd.newgrounds.com/
Wat should we do Mista Tails? I'm scared D:
WTFWTWAWFWTF ITS FROM 06?!?!?
6/12/11
I miss the old pic. ;(
would you rather have one of a gay fuel vending machine?
5/25/11
WHERES MY WIFE?!
have you checked your penis?
4/21/11
dos tom know abt the fuzz and this lol
Probably.
4/8/11
Sooo tempted to post Lucky Star hentai games here...
*le gasp!*
you wouldn't DARE...
3/7/11
Hmm Tails...... I think it's time you made a "new" newspost. I know that you and this "newspost" had some good times together, but you need to move on...cause we're all worried about you D: (this newpost has been dead for two months now, YOUR COMMITING NECROPHILIA TAILS!).
R.I.P Tails' old newpost
P.S. I already did Fuck myself, so HA! >:D
It took me almost 2 months to respond to this.
No.
3/7/11
When can I get that kiss, my boy?
now typically I would've responded with a stupid meme reference. However for you I'll do something extra special.
*smooch*
now gtfo.
3/2/11
plz don't kick me out I'z just mad. D:
I heard that angry masturbation sessions are unusually satisfying.
.
.
.
.
.
Actually I lied. I never heard of such a thing. But hell, why not give it a shot?
2/23/11
>I do tend to say very cockish things from time to time :)
>tend to say very cockish things
>cockish things
>cockish
FUCK YOU TAILS THAT IS A SHITTY JOKE.
YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW MAD I AM AT YOU FOR MAKING IT. SON OF A BITCH AND I USED TO RESPECT YOUR HUMOR.
FUCK.
ummm....
*reaches for the red button*
2/20/11
Hey Captain Tails I was reading your post and preparing a witty remark, when suddenly I noticed "Disregard I suck Cock" lmao. Did somebody hack your account in the past or something. Or have you just been at the cock ; )
Haha don't worry I wasn't hacked, but the situation behind it is kinda funny. You see, at the time I posted this the Newgrounds Dept. of Defense (NGDD) was down and inactive. So when the NGDD went back online with their "reboot", I went ahead and made that wee little "addition" to my news post along with linking it to their thread. I do tend to say very cockish things from time to time :)
2/16/11
Makes me wanna write my own little bio as a news post. Too bad here we in Land of Fin no literacy, though. ):
what's a book? o_0
2/11/11
Your new news post is gone. I take it that means the situation has been rectified?
Good. I'll be having my Lizz back now. :P
Dude.... so much.... SO MUCH.
Be forewarned, you might want to wash Liz for a few hours, maybe a few days, once he's back.
1/22/11
Tails. Why are you so yellow? :(
if I told you, I'd have to kill you.
1/18/11
Are*
12/26/10
The two comments above mine our absolutely the worst comments ever.
i concur.
12/21/10
u actally PLAY couner-trike???GEEZ counter-strike??? ill give u a tip..counterstrie SUX go play Halo instead...
11/21/10
I see what you did there.
10/27/10
88 Miles Prower!
10/13/10
I miss yous guys and our late night chats about funny youtube videos, random philosophies, and discussing the fate of teh TRANSGRESSEEERZ! Haha.
9/25/10
Sorry, make that half a minute.
NO D:
9/25/10
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /549173 - official flash of the NGPD, for the ten minutes before it gets blammed.
YES :D
9/20/10
Your history on Newgrounds is very similar to mine. I loved the video game parodies, and Madness was one thing I couldn't get enough of.
Of course, my time on Newgrounds has been much different.
The NG experience differs variably between any two individuals; thus by extension no two are exactly the same. But for the user that dares to examine, the aforementioned experience is a journey that takes you to new grounds.
9/18/10
C-cock joke?
:O
:O
:O
8/24/10
Nice that you organized a blog post for this.
blog rhymes with log. You callin me a homosexual?
AASDFGHAERGHDFHHSZSDGAHETHTRJMBYJ SYJHDFAASDSDFSFD
8/23/10
Ooh, links.
gets em everytime ;)
8/13/10
<3 ZE on CS:S
quick, into the barricades! Hurry up or you'll get infected with teh zombie AIDS!!! D:
8/11/10
fucking magnets! how do they work!?!!
Jesus Christ.
8/11/10
No with a huge futa penis.
haha okay :D
8/11/10
hey tails. imma rape your tailhole now kay?
with a magnet?